things I thought I already knew, but learned this week

1. I'm not pregnant, so long as that pee stick wasn't defective.

2. I stress out, and feel the need to pee on sticks about two or three times a year.

3. I shudder at the fact that I might end up with loudmouth in more classes next school year. whiskey tango foxtrot, why did she go and change her major to mine?

4. little boys who play hard, crash hard.

5. there is nothing quite as precious as the love of a child.

6. pets make people happier persons.

7. it would be nice to have enough money to clear up my credit and get a house.

8. I need a house with a yard.

9. what I really need, is a house with a yard and enough money for furnishing the damn place how I want.

10. so, in short, what I really need, is a house in a good school district with a yard, pool is not necessary but a plus (even if it's a community pool), and about $50,000 for interior design.

11. I wouldn't hire anyone to do interior design for me.

12. when a handsome little man asks you to "build a twack," you have to stop blogging and go play! stay young!

things I thought I already knew, but learned this week

1. weekends go by way too fast.

2. I'm horrible at playing the drums, even when they're fake and I'm addicted.

3. I'm usually sharp when I sing, but sometimes I'm just way fucking off.

4. it's possible to confirm #3 when playing rockband 2, boogie, or karaoke revolution party.

5. loudmouth smells horrific.

6. it's a smell I've noticed before; however, this time I've noticed that her teeth have tell-tale white fuzz. I know she works every day, but jesus fucking christ, you don't have to come to school smelling like you haven't showered or brushed your teeth in three damn days.

7. great, now I've got that kidd rock & sheryl crowe song stuck in my head. fucking karaoke.

8. when I get into a bitchfest, it really gets unbearable. seriously, I can't even fucking stand myself right now.

9. the gums in my mouth quickly grow over broken teeth. and that just fucking sucks cuz I can't get into the dentist until at least friday, which means it's going to HURT like a mother fucker when it's extracted.

10. no matter how many times I look at rocks, they will still never go much past, "oh, that's a pretty rock." obviously, geology lab and that damn long test have gotten to me. *twitch*

11. so I scheduled an MRI for my back. I wish it were possible to bitchslap a person through the phone. "you're having low-back pain?" yes. "can you lie on your back completely flat for an hour while you're in the mri?" I'll be crying but I'll do it....? wtf do you think? how the hell do people get an MRI done of their back if they have that much pain? it just takes longer.

12. this place doesn't have an open MRI, so next week on thursday you'll get to hear all about it. I don't know if I'm *that* claustrophobic!

13. I believe it's good for me to skip language classes, even if it's just so I can get away from loudmouth once in a while.

14. skipping a class means that I do all my lagging homework for the class.

15. this might be why I'm having trouble catching up in english.

16. I find myself oddly looking forward to tuesdays and thursdays. gee, I wonder why.

17. I have been fucked over by the government yet again.

18. apparently, although your earnings from actual *work* are only $6,000 in a year, if you get a bulk back payment of disability, and then a grand a month afterwards, you no longer qualify for a federal pell grant.

19. if my monthly check pays rent and cable, my credit card bill, and one other payment, which leaves me with 50 bucks to put into savings, and 25 bucks to waste on junk food, where the hell do my hubby's pay checks go? I need to learn this for next week.

20. my car sounds like shit.

21. this week is not nearly as funny as last week.

22. three-year-olds who are stubborn about potty training are not as uncommon as I once believed.

23. just because most of the kids in my dad's family were potty trained by the age of 2 does not mean it's the normal thing, and I need to stop worrying and just let my kid be stubborn about it.

24. if he's still stubborn by the age of 4, blame it on the sperm.

25. hubby's best friend's kid is 4 already.

26. she's not potty trained.

27. hubby's best friend's wife blames hubby's best friend's stubbornness.

28. I checked. they're really not related.

things I thought I already knew, but learned this week

1. when it comes to leftovers, if they're not in the front of the fridge or the top shelf, I don't see them.

2. I honestly believe this stems from seeing ghostbusters too many times as a kid.

3. I don't like having big trees in front of my house, or near my window.

4. I'd like to have the tree out front chopped down before the leaves can tough the roof.

5. this weird thing started from seeing poltergeist too many times as a kid.

6. no matter how many times you tell a man something, he only hears what he wants to hear.

7. I'm sure there's a movie that coincides with that.

8. sometimes, moms who are in playgroups, really don't give a flying fuck about your kid, only theirs.

9. girl scout cookies are guilt free and contain no calories, because the money you are using to obtain them is considered a donation.

10. I *can* and *will* eat two boxes of tagalongs thinking that they have no caloric value.

11. yes. at one sitting. or while driving home from going to pick them up. if you can consider that a sitting.

12. technically, I'm sitting when I'm driving.

13. three-year-olds have a unique perspective on the world, and one should never discount anything a three-year-old has to say.

14. it's really hard not to giggle when they say "shit titties," but really are trying to say "six fishies."

15. people with loud mouths and adhd should not be allowed to take language classes, especially when they already know everything in the class material.

16. I am taking spanish for the easy a.

17. I am also realizing how much spanish I've forgotten since high school.

18. I get easily annoyed by loud people with adhd.

19. I should rephrase, because it's more or less the "adults" who annoy me more than a child.

20. lab classes with a loud mouth who has adhd is a bad, bad, bad thing.

21. when it comes to a lab class in geology, it is considered polite to share the rocks.

22. apparently, my redirection skills come in handy in geology lab skills with loud-mouthed people who have adhd, because I think I moved that god damn box of rocks 17 times back to the middle of the table.

23. it has just dawned on me that the way I deal with loud-mouth adhd adults can be construed as condescending. but really, I'm not treating them much different than a child, so I fail to see the real link there.

24. taking psychology online has its disadvantages. like being boring.

25. taking psychology online has its advantages. like being able to get 100% on every quiz because of a glitch that only occurs with firefox.

26. I heart firefox!!!

27. taking english online is meh. it is not bad, it is not good, it just is.

28. I think that if someone who does not already have a decent grasp of the english language were to take an english class online, that person might have problems.

29. husbands exist solely for insurance purposes. this must be so, as mine has not taught my son anything but bad habits. like the word "ain't" and how to chew his nails. and trust me, the sex has gone downhill since conception, and should therefore not be considered a purpose.

30. ducks and geese should not eat bread, or anything with yeast.

31. a 50 lb bag of poultry feed costs 15 bucks.

32. I have no idea where to hide a 50 lb bag of poultry feed so that a certain someone doesn't get upset for me spending 15 fucking dollars on something to make a difference, one small ducky at a time.

33. but apparently it's okay to eat fast food every day. that money doesn't count as not well-spent.

34. I'm buying the fucking duck food anyway.


35. there is no dana, only zuul.